I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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