Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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