Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
