"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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