watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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