You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
