if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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