I have demons in me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
BRING THE BAGELS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize