i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
