It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
