My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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