I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
