im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
