Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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