spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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