I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
