she was so not down for the gang bang
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
