so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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