Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
