I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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