Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
