oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
