Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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