u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
