Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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