I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
