ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
