im gay
i know
yea but for you.
someone owes me an orgasm
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
