if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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