if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
