do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
