He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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