Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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