"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
