It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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