i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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