this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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