The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
