your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
