I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
