She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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