11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize