Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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