i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
