doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
