How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
