i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
