Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
