I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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