You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
