I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
