You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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