You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
