Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
