As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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