And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
