Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
