Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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(415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v

Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (1085)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night

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(712): I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night http://tfl.nu/v3fw

Replies (20) Good night (3776) Bad night (1656)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself

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(204): Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself http://tfl.nu/03x0

Replies (9) Good night (1032) Bad night (3689)
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(443): View more from Maryland

WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

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(443): WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock http://tfl.nu/0ctc

Replies (4) Good night (3626) Bad night (974)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

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(334): Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true. http://tfl.nu/jgul

Replies (11) Good night (2117) Bad night (922)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.

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(717): Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too. http://tfl.nu/67rw

Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (1255)
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(863): View more from Florida

our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

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(863): our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane http://tfl.nu/5abz

Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (656)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus

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(832): i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus http://tfl.nu/kvpc

Replies (2) Good night (1573) Bad night (556)
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(+01): View more from

I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

(1+01): View more from

your the Dr. Phil in my life

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Today is an unchanging day

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(+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn

Replies (1) Good night (932) Bad night (402)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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(321): Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face... http://tfl.nu/4hpu

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (691)
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(734): View more from Michigan

She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

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(734): She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night. http://tfl.nu/qun7

Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (594)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.

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(+44): Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs. http://tfl.nu/l0tw

Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (438)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic

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(269): Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic http://tfl.nu/ri8o

Replies (10) Good night (631) Bad night (257)
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(503): View more from Oregon

That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.

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(503): That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it. http://tfl.nu/se2i

Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (332)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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(612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (244)

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