Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

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  (248): Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup. http://tfl.nu/xbnm
  Replies (156) Good night (1336) Bad night (2641)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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  (724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx
  Replies (16) Good night (691) Bad night (3557)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  well, dont

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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  (720): So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face. (970): well, dont (720): I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it. http://tfl.nu/lbqb
  Replies (32) Good night (6127) Bad night (754)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.

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  (256): Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee. http://tfl.nu/nrww
  Replies (136) Good night (5068) Bad night (1064)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it's circumsized.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think this conversation is over.

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  (904): it's circumsized. (954): I think this conversation is over. http://tfl.nu/jc3y
  Replies (44) Good night (1162) Bad night (5023)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree

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  (561): Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree http://tfl.nu/oe6w
  Replies (32) Good night (7966) Bad night (993)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.

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  (610): This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind. http://tfl.nu/lf45
  Replies (15) Good night (4437) Bad night (1058)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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  (513): successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here http://tfl.nu/y491
  Replies (17) Good night (3958) Bad night (731)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  (814): If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know. http://tfl.nu/ag02
  Replies (7) Good night (2183) Bad night (1576)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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  (618): She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover. http://tfl.nu/cpec
  Replies (13) Good night (4092) Bad night (954)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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  (512): There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex. http://tfl.nu/22uc
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (1014)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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  (703): I've been living off of popsicles and broth. http://tfl.nu/8x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (1646)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

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  (717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd
  Replies (6) Good night (1865) Bad night (600)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

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  (847): stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed. http://tfl.nu/vt40
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (824)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny

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  (603): Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny http://tfl.nu/ui8a
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (147)

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