Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
