do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
