Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

Replies (13) Good night (2758) Bad night (760)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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(604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60

Replies (15) Good night (1197) Bad night (3911)
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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw

Replies (20) Good night (9505) Bad night (898)
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(425): View more from Washington

Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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(425): Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away. http://tfl.nu/ldh5

Replies (6) Good night (3958) Bad night (1140)
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(317): View more from Indiana

cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

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(317): cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome http://tfl.nu/yrg8

Replies (35) Good night (5850) Bad night (2245)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.

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(613): Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors. http://tfl.nu/tkq1

Replies (20) Good night (8670) Bad night (1320)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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(913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

You are such a penis elitist

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(250): Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing (1-250): You are such a penis elitist http://tfl.nu/ym08

Replies (11) Good night (1579) Bad night (598)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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(775): Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American. http://tfl.nu/e4rx

Replies (13) Good night (3804) Bad night (597)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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(413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7

Replies (16) Good night (994) Bad night (550)
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(713): View more from Texas

Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

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(713): Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you. http://tfl.nu/5z0x

Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (551)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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(419): I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest. (1-419): Dreams are coming true for both of us. http://tfl.nu/6zn2

Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (345)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

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(919): Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were http://tfl.nu/t156

Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (587)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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(757): Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up. http://tfl.nu/3jb6

Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (245)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

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(931): I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move. http://tfl.nu/yt36

Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (222)

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