I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize