I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.