Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man

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(214): Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man http://tfl.nu/xuc0

Replies (16) Good night (5177) Bad night (763)
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(216): View more from Ohio

She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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(216): She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass. http://tfl.nu/vn76

Replies (25) Good night (4926) Bad night (1935)
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(317): View more from Indiana

we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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(317): we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky http://tfl.nu/igrt

Replies (26) Good night (4540) Bad night (2068)
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(720): View more from Colorado

New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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(720): New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future? http://tfl.nu/5rnd

Replies (45) Good night (5514) Bad night (1327)
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(562): View more from California

In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

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(562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for... http://tfl.nu/hz7t

Replies (23) Good night (6844) Bad night (1567)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.

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(610): Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory. http://tfl.nu/8tn6

Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (1917)
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(757): View more from Virginia

She fuckin peed on me

(817): View more from Texas

Stay golden ponyboy

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(757): She fuckin peed on me (817): Stay golden ponyboy http://tfl.nu/vooq

Replies (17) Good night (4965) Bad night (1273)
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(408): View more from California

I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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(408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w

Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (738)
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(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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(540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo

Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (620)
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(907): View more from Alaska

She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students

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(907): She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students http://tfl.nu/c30c

Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (481)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.

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(902): Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN. http://tfl.nu/l8um

Replies (10) Good night (2091) Bad night (793)
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(480): View more from Arizona

All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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(480): All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/6kun

Replies (7) Good night (556) Bad night (1118)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?

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(304): That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try. (304): Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone? http://tfl.nu/y8p7

Replies (10) Good night (678) Bad night (1370)
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(817): View more from Texas

I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.

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(817): I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita. http://tfl.nu/fdg7

Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (380)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.

(604): View more from British Columbia

And then someone hit me with a pool cue

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(604): I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud. (604): And then someone hit me with a pool cue http://tfl.nu/5hgm

Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (467)

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