Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.