after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.