My friends, they love my intelligence
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And then my night got REAL pukey
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ