Already got asked if we're dating
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.