we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.