Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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