hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
