real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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