I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
