My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
