Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
