I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
