Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
